1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
