**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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