Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
