You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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