Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
