yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
