am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize