I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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