Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize