Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
