if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
