yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
