69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
