how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Randomize
