Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left an ass print on the piano.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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