Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
