so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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