Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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