i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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