I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
