Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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