god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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