I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize