yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
