How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
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