office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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