Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
