My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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