My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
