Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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