why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Mom said you looked used
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My vagina is officially offended.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
