It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
