Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
zippers are such a cool invention
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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