So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
