so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
