i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
