He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
