i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
