I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
