a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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