so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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