it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
