hotel room ftw
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
