yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
