That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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