my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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