i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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