so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
