Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
