And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
