I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
