You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
