she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
