just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
