Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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