All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
