There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
