i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
