I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
