it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
