So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
