What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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